Amber Heard is speaking up for the first time following her recent loss in Johnny Depp’s defamation lawsuit.

Heard explained that her Washington Post piece in 2018 was not about Depp during the second half of her first interview following the lawsuit. The article was, however, at the center of the lawsuit, and while Depp wasn’t deliberately named, the jury found it to be defamatory.

Amber Heard has admitted that she isn’t a “likeable” or “perfect victim” and that she still loves and has “no bad feelings or ill will” towards her ex-husband, Johnny Depp.

During her new interview with NBC, Heard was asked whether she still loves Depp, to which she answered, “Yes, absolutely. I love him. I loved him with all my heart and tried the best I could to make a deeply broken relationship work. And I couldn’t.

“I have no bad feelings or ill will towards him at all. I know that might be hard to understand. Or it might be really easy to understand if you have just ever loved anyone… It should be easy.”

Furthermore, Heard explained that she is concerned that if she continues to speak out after the court ruling, she may be sued again for defamation by Depp.

Heard was then asked if she believes Depp has achieved “total global humiliation” for her. She responded by saying, “I know he promised it.”

She explained, “I testified to this. I am not a good victim, I get it. I am not a likeable victim. I am not a perfect victim. But when I testified I asked the jury to see me as human and here, his own words, which is a promise to do this, it seems as though he has.”

When asked if she’s worried about what she can and can’t say during the interview, the 36-year-old actress replied: “Of course. I took for granted what I assumed was my right to speak.”

“I am scared that no matter what I do, no matter what I say or how I say it, every step that I take will present another opportunity for silencing, which I guess is what a defamation lawsuit is meant to do,” she said about potentially being sued again.

She also claimed that her 2018 Washington Post post on domestic abuse, which was at the core of Depp’s lawsuit against her, was not about her ex-husband, but rather about the “bigger cultural conversation” surrounding the #MeToo movement at the time.

“The op-ed wasn’t about my relationship with Johnny,” she said. “What the op-ed was about was me loaning my voice to a bigger cultural conversation that we were having at the time.”

She added that it was crucial to not focus the article on Depp “or to do anything like defame him. I had lawyers, teams of lawyers, review all the drafts of this.”

Mingle